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Receiving God's Forgiveness | Series: Teach me to Pray | 03-21-10

Receiving God's Forgiveness
Series: Teach Me to Pray (The Lord's Prayer)
Matthew 6:12

  I. Forgive us our debts. Romans 6:23
     A. Sins of commission. 1 John 3:4
     B. Sins of stumbling. James 2:10
     C. Sins of omission. James 4:17
     D. Sins of the thought life. Genesis 6:5-6,Matthew 5:27-28,Psalm 94:11
     E. Sins of "missing the mark". Matthew 5:48,John 3:16,II Corinthians 5:21,Romans 6:23,I John 1:8-9,Romans 6:1-4

 II. As we also have forgiven our debtors.
     A. Genuine forgiveness is essential for the Christian. Matthew 6:14-15,Matthew 18:21-35
     B. Genuine forgiveness is a process that takes time and energy.
     
The Four Stages of Forgiveness (Louis Smedes)
1. Hurt.
2. Hate or anger.
3. Healing.
4. Reconciliation.
     C. Genuine forgiveness begins with prayer.
     D. Forgiveness results in emotional freedom and victory. Hebrews 12:15

Full Text 

"Jane Grapshaft and her husband, Ralph, had finally brought their children through the crazy maze of adolescence. Now the kids were graduated and gone, and Jane was glad. Finally, she was going to have a life of her own and make something of herself. But in his book Forgive and Forget, Louis Smedes recounts that a family tragedy interrupted her plan. Ralph's younger brother and his wife were killed in a car crash, and they left three children ages 8, 10, and 12 all by themselves. Ralph felt that it was his duty to take his brother's orphaned children in. Jane was too compliant to express her concerns, and before she knew it, the kids had moved in with them for the duration. Now Ralph's job required that he travel a lot. He was gone away from home making a living, and Jane pretty much raised these kids by herself. Nine years groaned by. Two of the kids went on to college, and now only a 17-year-old boy was at their home. His mind was slightly bent out of shape but he was still functional. In a few years, Jane thought, she and Ralph would be home-free. But not quite…
Jane's body had grown a little lumpy by this time, and Ralph's secretary, Sue, was a dazzler. She really knew how to boost his male ego, and he couldn't help but fall in love with her. He and Sue knew that their love was too true to be denied and too powerful to be resisted, so Ralph divorced Jane and married Sue. Ralph and Sue were very happy, and their happiness was reaffirmed by a warm accepting church that celebrated their newfound joy with them. Lewis Smedes writes, "But Ralph needed one more stroke of acceptance, so he called Jane to ask her to forgive him and be glad with him that he was now, finally, a happy man. 'I want you to bless my new marriage,' he said. Jane told Ralph in very graphic terms where he could go. What? Forgive? Throw away the only leverage she had? The strength of her hatred, her contempt was her power, her dignity, her self-esteem. It was unfair to ask her to forgive! The least the louse deserved was a steady stream of her scorn." Smedes expresses the feelings of many when he writes, "There's a lot to be said for not forgiving people. Why should people cut their way through our lives leaving us bleeding in their wake and then expect us to forgive everything and act as if nothing was wrong? Forgiveness," he said, "seems an outrage against dues paying morality."
Today we come to the most difficult phrase of the Lord's Prayer. In Matthew 6:12 Jesus taught us to pray, "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors."
Now, we like that first part, "Forgive us our debts." "Forgive us our sins," because we know we need that. But it's the second part that's tough: "as we also have forgiven our debtors." It seems to stick in our throats. It's not a pleasant thought. But Jesus made it clear that if we really understand how much God has forgiven us, the natural response would be that we give the same kind of grace to other people.
Now, for some of you this sermon is going to be the most important one in the series because some of you have a hard time receiving God's forgiveness. You gave your life to Christ, but you still feel guilty. You need to believe that God has forgiven and saved and accepted you.
Others of you have a hard time forgiving someone who offended you. Maybe you're holding a grudge right now. You hate and you seek revenge. Please listen today. Let the Word of God sink deep into your soul. Let Him transform you as you learn to pray every day, "Forgive me my debts as I also forgive those who are indebted to me."
Today we're going to look at both sides of the coin-receiving forgiveness and extending forgiveness-because the one depends on the other. This first part has to do with us receiving forgiveness from God.

I. "Forgive us our debts.

Every one of us owes a huge debt to God. If we break man's law, we are in debt to the government. If someone gets caught speeding, or if they fail to file their income tax, or if they rob a bank, or if they murder someone they could be fined, imprisoned or even executed. After they pay the fine or serve their prison sentence, or are executed, we say they have paid their debt to society, right?
Now, God has established certain laws by which we are to live in this world. When any one of those laws are broken, we owe a debt to God that must be paid. Romans 6:23 says, "The wages of sin is death..." The problem is, the Bible mentions a lot of ways that we violate God's laws, and each violation carries that same severe penalty.
For instance, there are
A. Sins of commission.

These are sins that we purposely commit. In I John 3:4 John tells us, "Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness." When David deliberately committed adultery with Bathsheba he broke God's law. And when we intentionally lie, steal, covet, or break any of God's commands, we are guilty of the sins of commission.
Then there are
B. Sins of stumbling.

We don't sin on purpose. We just stumble along the way. James 2:10 reads, "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." On the night that Jesus was arrested, Peter was warming himself at the enemy's fire. He was under a lot of pressure A servant girl accused Peter of being a follower of Jesus. Suddenly every eye was on him, and Peter blurted out, "I don't know the man!" He did not intend to do that. It just stumbled out.
And it happens to us. You get startled or hurt and you let fly with a word you didn't want to say, or you get angry and retaliate. Or you are careless and you gossip. You don't mean to do it. It just happens and you stumble into sin.
Then there are
C. Sins of omission.

Rather than doing something wrong, these are things we know we should be doing but we just don't do them. James 4:17 says, "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins." Because we're busy, we don't help someone.  Or we aren't as generous with the poor as we should be. Or we know we should say something, but we don't. Sins of omission.
Then there are
D. Sins of the thought life.

Why did God destroy the world with a flood? In Genesis 6:5-6 we read, "The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. …and his heart was filled with pain."
In Matthew 5:27-28 Jesus said, "27You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Psalm 94:11 says, "The LORD knows the thoughts of man; he knows that they are futile."
Let me ask you this. If the thoughts that you think during worship service were scrolled on the big screen above me, would any of you exit the building immediately? In fact, would all of you be out of here instantly?
And then there are the
E. Sins of "missing the mark".

One of the Greek words translated, "sin", literally means, "to miss the mark". It pictures an archer shooting at a target, and if he hits anything except the bull's eye, he has missed the mark. Sin is missing the mark. It's missing the bull's eye.
Do you know what our mark, our bull's eye is as Christians? Jesus said in Matthew 5:48, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." That is one tall order! We are commanded to be perfect just like God Himself! Any time we are less than perfect like God, we have sinned. So, sin is not just something we do. Sin is something we are. We owe a huge debt to God.
With this understanding of how many ways we can sin, how many times do you think you will sin in your lifetime?  Ross Broadfurer dramatically illustrates the debt we owe God like this. A good person might say, "I guess I sin thirty to forty times a day." Somebody who is really righteous, a Billy Graham or Mother Teresa, might say, "Ten times a day."
But let's say you are a super saint and you average just three sins a day. There's only one lustful or angry thought a day that you average. There's only one selfish motive, and there's only one deed that you neglect to do.
Well, that's three times a day for 365 times a year. That means you sin 1,095 times a year. That's a very, very conservative estimate for some of us. If you live to be 70 that means you have 76,650 sins against God.
Now, all that is needed is just one sin to condemn you as a lawbreaker. You don't have to break every law on the books to go to jail.  Just one, right? But you have accumulated at least 76,650 sins against God. And you know there are some biggies in there too. They're not all little ones.
Now, how would you like to stand before the Holy God whose name is hallowed and have 76,000 counts against you and know that you're guilty of every one? Over the years we've accumulated a HUGE debt to God. Yet, God offers to completely cancel that debt through Jesus Christ. In John 3:16 Jesus said, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Instead of making us pay the debt for sin, He paid the debt Himself. He came to earth as a human being, allowed Himself to be arrested, tortured and crucified as a payment for our sin.

II Corinthians 5:21 says, "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." When Jesus Christ died on the Cross, spiritually the Bible says God laid on Him the iniquity of us all. God gathered together the 76,000 sins that you commit, the 300,000 sins that I commit, and heaped them all on Jesus Christ as a payment for sin. He became guilty. That is why the earth became dark. That is why God turned his back on Jesus. That is why Jesus called out, "My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?" And that's why one of the final things that Jesus said was, "It is finished." In the Greek the word for finished means the last payment of the debt was made. The debt is "paid in full".

Our sin is paid for! Our HUGE debt to God is cancelled. That's why we sing,
"Jesus paid it all,
all to him I owe.
Sin had left a crimson stain.
He washed it white as snow."
Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." When you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you repent of your sins; you confess publicly you believe in Him, and you are baptized into Him, you became free of the debt of sin. Everything you've ever done is washed away by the blood of Christ.
Now, most of us here at least have this concept in our heads, even if we don't always feel it on a gut level. But what many struggle with is, "What about the things that I've done wrong after I've become a Christian? I've committed sins of stumbling and omission and commission. I've committed some big ones since then. Am I still forgiven?"
Let's demonstrate it this way. All of you who have been a Christian for 10 years or more, raise your hand. Now, hopefully, all these people who have been a Christian for 10 years or more have matured in their Christian life, right? So we have some mature Christians here.
Now, if you have been a Christian for 10 years or more and you have lived a perfect life, you haven't even sinned once since that time you became a Christian, hold your hand up. I don't see any hands from any of those mature Christians! How about if you have lived a perfect life since January 1, 2010, just a few months, raise your hand. Now, either the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from every sin we commit after we become a Christian or we're going to have a big reunion in Hell!
The great news is God doesn't just forgive our past. He also forgives our present and future sins!! It is an ongoing debt that we owe. Look at I John 1:8-9.  Now, John is writing to Christian people and he says, "8If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." John is saying all of us Christians are still sinful. But he continues. "9If we confess our sins," If we admit we're still sinful and we need God's forgiveness "he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Did you catch the word just? It really seems out of place. We think of God being full of grace and forgiving our sins. But this passage says he will be just to forgive us. If God were just, wouldn't He punish us? This passage says he will be just to forgive us.
The reason is our debt has already been paid in full at the Cross. Let's say that after Church today I was eating lunch at Skyline and looked over and saw you across the restaurant. Then I tell the waitress to give me your bill and I pay it. Now, if the waitress is dishonest, if she is unjust, she will get you to pay the bill also. But if she is just, she will tell you it's already paid in full. All of our sin, past, present, and future, was paid for in full at the cross. And God is just to forgive us.
Now, that doesn't mean we should just go out and sin and not even try to live for Christ. Romans 6:1-4 explains, "1What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life." Don't just go out and sin and not care. When you do sin, ask for forgiveness and trust God to give it and thank God for His grace.

Jesus taught us to pray in Matthew 6:12, "Forgive us our debts,
II. As we also have forgiven our debtors."

Since God gives grace and forgiveness to us He expects us to give it to others. Jesus acknowledged that there would be people who would dump on us. There would be people who would be indebted to us. A drunk driver slams into the car and your life is never going to be the same. A family member took you to the cleaners in settling the family estate. Or maybe a former spouse left you financially and emotionally broken. Or a friend took off with your fiancé or in some other way knifed you in the back. An employee embezzled money or an employer didn't fulfill his promises and you're left out in the cold. A church leader wounded you and disappointed you and has never made it right. Or of your favorite basketball team became coach of the college just down the road and you still are bitter about that.
What are you going to do with the debt? Somebody owes you an apology. Somebody owes you an explanation. Somebody owes you a second chance. Somebody owes you a childhood. Somebody owes you a family. Are you going to spend the rest of your life as a bill collector, making yourself and everybody else miserable trying to get even? What are you going to do with those in your debt?

A. Genuine forgiveness is essential for the Christian.

Forgive me the way I forgive is really kind of scary. The two verses that immediately follow the Lord's Prayer, Matthew 6:14-15, read, "14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
John Stott wrote, "This certainly does not mean that our forgiveness earns us the right to be forgiven. It is rather that God forgives only the penitent and that one of the chief evidences of true repentance is a forgiving spirit."
You can't have one without the other. I think most of us have trouble forgiving from time to time. Peter, one of Jesus' 12 disciples was no different than us. In Matthew 18:21 we read, "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?'"
I don't know about you, but it doesn't take seven times to get my dander up! I think Peter was going beyond his norm with a number that at least looked somewhat attainable, if he worked real hard at it. Seven seemed like the ultimate number.
Let's face it. Once or twice and you can often overlook it. Maybe the person is stressed out or not feeling well, or just having a bad day. But after that, you start thinking this person doesn't like me and is out to get me! Then thoughts of defense come sweeping in and the best defense is a good offense! How can you get back at them? How can you stop them in their tracks? Your adrenalin starts pumping. Your stomach may church. You may have trouble sleeping at night. You have an enemy! But Peter thought, "I'll go for the ultimate. Seven times!"
Let's see how Jesus answered Peter.  Verse 22. "Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'"
How could you keep track of numbers that high? You can't. And that is just the point. Jesus is telling us to forget about keeping track. Just keep forgiving.
Then Jesus told a parable about a man who owed the king about $375.4 million. I don't know about you, but I couldn't begin to handle the interest on $375 million, much less pay it off. And neither could this man. The man and his family were going to be sold as slaves to pay off the debt. But the man begged for more time and the king just forgave the debt.
And that's just like us. We owe God so much, we could never pay it back. But through Jesus, God forgives the debt.
But Jesus went on in the parable. The man then went out and found another man that owed him $188. When the man couldn't pay and asked for more time, the man had him thrown into prison until the debt was paid. What kind of person would have a $375.4 million debt cancelled and not be so happy he would cancel a $188 debt, or at least give the guy more time to pay it off? You talk about ungrateful! That's just not right!
But isn't that what we do when God has forgiven us so much and we refuse to forgive others a comparatively small amount?
When the king heard about this ingratitude, he was furious! Matthew 18:32-34. "32Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed."
Now, if the king felt that way in the parable, how does God feel about us when we don't forgive? Verse 35.  "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
This is a difficult commandment when you're hurting. But when we understand how much God has forgiven us, it's essential that we extend that same forgiveness to others.

B. Genuine forgiveness is a process that takes time and energy.

It would be nice if forgiveness were a one time event, if we were so much like God that we could forgive a person and then forget it; and the relationship would be restored and it would never come up again. But the truth is we are human beings and forgiveness takes time. A huge debt is usually repaid on the installment plan.
Louis Smedes suggests we usually forgive in 4 stages: The first stage is hurt. Somebody has caused you a pain so deep you cannot forget it. Now, some think if you're a Christian you should just take it in stride. But the reality is you still hit the wall with your fist, you gripe to your friends, you hurt and you weep, and you wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep. You hurt.
The second stage is hate or anger. You say, "Well, that's not very godly." We're not saying it's godly. We're just saying it's the second stage. In this stage you can't shake the memory of how much you were hurt and you can't wish the enemy well. Sometimes you want that person who hurt you to suffer like you suffered and you think of some ways to make it happen. Your sense of justice is wounded and so you look for a way to get even.
It's like the little boy who was disciplined by his father. That night when he had his prayer, he knelt at the bed and prayed, "God bless Mommy and Grandma and Grandpa and my brother, Billy. Amen." And he looked at his dad and said, "I hope you noticed you weren't in it." We find some way to wound people who have wounded us in our anger and hatred.
Then the third stage is healing. If you have a flesh wound, the pain goes away in a few days and the body heals itself and you go on. But the more serious the wound, the longer it takes to heal.
Now if you have an emotional wound, the deeper that wound, the longer it will take to heal and the easier it is for you to hurt again. But eventually the pain lessens and you heal. You can smile and talk and laugh again without pretending and you are free.
The fourth stage is coming together for reconciliation. You invite the person who hurt you back into your life. Now, the fourth stage depends as much on the person who hurt you as it does on you. Sometimes the other person doesn't apologize or they don't come back and you have to heal all alone. Though you can't be completely reconciled, you can at the very least reach the third stage, and heal without them. The point is, for us humans, forgiveness takes time.

C. Genuine forgiveness begins with prayer.

If you pray every day for those who owe a debt to you, it goes a long way toward releasing bitterness. It's tough to pray for someone and then hold a grudge against them.

D. Forgiveness results in emotional freedom and victory.

Satan tries to deceive us into thinking that if we forgive we lose and the one who has offended us wins. In the story we began with, when Jane's husband left her, she concluded that her contempt was her source of power; her contempt was the way she was going to make Ross pay. But just the opposite is true: If you harbor hatred you lose.
Resentment doesn't hurt the person you hate nearly as much as it destroys you. That's why the Bible says in Hebrews 12:15, "See to it that no one misses the grace of God [That's our forgiveness from God] and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." Grudges destroy everyone, even the bitter person. Ask God to help you forgive.
Jesus is our example. Instead of holding a grudge when He was on the cross, He said, "Father forgive them because they do not know what they're doing."
Jesus is all about forgiveness. Do you want His forgiveness? Then come forward when we sing and we'll help you accept His offer of grace. Or maybe you're already an immersed believer and you would like to place your membership with us. Then come forward as we stand and sing.

Based on a 09/22/1999 sermon by Bob Russell of South East Christian Church, Louisville, Kentucky.