Harvest Pointe Christian Church, Milford Ohio is a non-denominational Christian Church (Church of Christ) on the Eastside of Cincinnati OH

My Dad Doesn't Know Anything | Series: Spiritual Mythbusters| 06-21-09

My Dad Doesn't Know Anything
Series: Spiritual Mythbusters
Proverbs                                          

Fathers; Share Solomon's advice on:

1. Money.
2. Words.
3. Self-control.
4. Integrity.
5. Lust.
6. Faith.

Full Text 

This weekend we are concluding our series on
"Spiritual Myth Busting" with, 
"My Dad Doesn't Know Anything."

Have you noticed that in commercials and on sitcoms
like Home Improvement or
Everybody Loves Raymond that
more and more you see a father being portrayed
as someone who is out to lunch, who's out of touch?

Have you ever watched The Simpsons?
I've heard that  The Simpsons is being used
in sociology classes on college campuses
across the country to teach what
the stereotypical American family is like.

The problem is that,
if Homer Simpson is the stereotypical American father,
he is often portrayed on the show as
stupid, incompetent, clumsy, thoughtless, lazy and
having an explosive temper.

So it seems that, at least in our culture,
dads have taken a beating since the days of
Father Knows Best.

Even in churches we sometimes do this.
On Mother's Day we have a tendency to
honor and pay tribute to mothers, but
sometimes on Father's Day the gloves come off and
dads leave feeling a little bit beat up
for all the things they are not doing right.

But book of Proverbs paints a father's wisdom
as something we should honor,
something we should hold in high esteem.

Most of the Proverbs are written by King Solomon.
Proverbs is a collection of wise sayings.
It is a compilation of fatherly advice.

In fact, if you read through the 31 chapters of Proverbs,
you will find that 19 times
the writer addresses the reader as "My son." 
For example, in chapter 4, verse 1 we are told,
"Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction;
pay attention and gain understanding."You see, in the Old Testament culture
a father's wisdom is honored,
a father's counsel is esteemed.

So let's take a look at
some of the topics Proverbs deals with.

I pray that as we view these passages of Scripture
it challenges dads to intentionally teach their children
in these areas.

But I also pray that
it calls children to listen and
to pay attention to the wisdom of their fathers,
to honor their father's guidance.

The 1st area we need to deal with is
1. Money.
The book of Proverbs is filled with
Solomon's wisdom to his son on this very topic.

What is interesting is that there are
so many secular and Christian financial planners
who find the foundation of their teaching
straight out of the book of Proverbs.

It is simple.
It is practical advice for all of us.

Solomon encourages us to know at all times
what our financial situation is.

He writes in Proverbs 27:23-24, "23 Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds; 24 for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations."

The flocks and herds were the investments of the day.

Today we would say,
"Know how much you have and where and
what the economy is doing. 
Your wealth will not last forever. 
There will be down-turns in the economy."

So, one of a father's responsibilities is to
provide for his family.

Most dads take this quite seriously.
It seems to be in our make up.

Too often, if fathers are not careful,
they can go overboard trying to get too much.

We have to be careful that
our main goal in life
isn't to get more and more money and
get more and more things.

If that is our driving force then
those dollars may come at the expense
of the ones that we love the most.

That's why Proverbs 30:8-9 says, "8 …give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.  9 Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD?'…"

You see, the pursuit of money
can take our eyes off of the Lord.

Folks, money is not what is most important.

Proverbs 22:1 says
"A good name is more desirable than great riches; 
to be esteemed is better than silver or gold."

Success in life isn't about how much you have, but
about who you are
which effects how generous you are.

Solomon says in Proverbs 3:9-10, "9 Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops;
10 then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine."

Remember, this isn't coming from some financial wannabe; this is coming from Solomon.
He is one of the wealthiest men to ever live.

When the super-rich Queen of Sheba visited Solomon,
she was impressed.
In I Kings 10:4-7 we read, "4 When the queen of Sheba saw all the wisdom of Solomon and the palace he had built, 5 the food on his table, the seating of his officials, the attending servants in their robes, his cupbearers, and the burnt offerings he made at the temple of the LORD, she was overwhelmed.  6 She said to the king, 'The report I heard in my own country about your achievements and your wisdom is true. 7 But I did not believe these things until I came and saw with my own eyes. Indeed, not even half was told me; in wisdom and wealth you have far exceeded the report I heard.'"

How wealthy was the Queen of Sheba?
As a gift for Solomon she had brought along with her
4 ½ TONS of gold, plus
large quantities of precious stones.

And spices were very expensive in that day.

She also brought Solomon
such large quantities of spices that the Bible says,
in Verse 10, "Never again were so many spices brought in as those the queen of Sheba gave to King Solomon."

For this woman to be impressed,
Solomon had to be on top.

Yet, even with all his vast wealth, Solomon warns in
Proverbs 23:5, "Cast but a glance at riches, and they
are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle."

Many here today can relate to that.

As kids get older, they get more expensive.
The price of gas has gone up again.
The value of your stocks has plummeted.
And just when it seems you are getting ahead,
the refrigerator needs replaced, or the car breaks down.
And our wealth seems to "fly off to the sky like an eagle."

In Matthew 6:19-21, Jesus is giving the Sermon on the Mount and He teaches us, "19Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Teach your children to be generous
so they can store up treasure in Heaven.

Not only does Proverbs give us fatherly advice on money, it also guides our
2. Words.

If you read through the book of Proverbs,
you will notice it has a lot to say about
controlling your tongue.

This is really an area where a father's example matters.

We've all, at least heard stories of, but
most likely witnessed firsthand
the father who is at the little league game and
he hurls obscenities at the umpire
because of a call that he made
when his child was at bat.

And then Dad wonders why
they can't get their child to stop using bad language.

Dads, your example is very powerful.

And what you say is powerful.

Some children grow up never seeming good enough
to make their Dad proud of them.
They are never able to do good enough.

If they score 18 points in a basketball game,
dad says afterwards,
"Son, if you just would've made all your free throws
you could have had 20."
And nothing is ever good enough for his father.

Proverbs 18:21 says,
"The tongue has the power of life and death...."

This is especially true in a relationship
between a father and his children.

John Eldredge points out that every son needs to hear the clear message from his father that "you have what it takes" and every daughter needs to hear the message from her father that "you are beautiful."

Fathers, teach your kids by example to
use encouraging words to build people up.

It gives your children and others the confidence
to keep going and to improve.
Proverbs 12:25
"An anxious heart weighs a man down,
but a kind word cheers him up."
Proverbs 15:4
"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life…."

We all need to encourage and build each other up.
It can bring healing when times get tough.

Fathers, catch your kids doing something good and
build them up.
It will definitely encourage them to do more good things.
And it will teach them to do the same for others.

Proverbs 16:24 says, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

And don't be afraid to talk about their good qualities.
The "who" they are is so important.
Complement them for being good hearted or
persistent in completing a job.

Someone asked, "Do you know how you can tell if a person needs encouragement?  If he is breathing."

And folks, fathers need encouragement, too.

Most of us would never admit it, but
fathers need those words of affirmation as well.
It does make a difference.

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin  wrote a book called
Words that Hurt, Words that Heal.
He has lectured throughout the country on the negative and oftentimes very powerful impact of words.

And he'll ask the audience this question: 
"Can you go 24 hours without saying
an unkind word to or about another person?"

Think about that.

Can you go 24 hours without saying
one unkind word to or about another person?

And here is what Telushkin writes. "Those who can't answer yes must recognize that you have a serious problem. If you cannot go 24 hours without drinking liquor, you are addicted to alcohol. If you cannot go 24 hours without smoking, you are addicted to nicotine. And if you cannot go 24 hours without saying unkind words about other people or to other people, then you have lost control of your tongue."

Proverbs 12:18 says, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Ok, enough words!

Another area fathers need to share Solomon's advice on is
3. Self-control.

A whole lot of our sin can be traced back to
pride or a lack of self-control.

That is why it is so important that
you make a commitment to Christ.

When you make that commitment to Him,
you have the Holy Spirit living in your heart and
together, if you really want it, you can have self-control.

As a father, it is my responsibility to
 try to teach my kids self-control.

The sad thing is I've had to admit to my sons at times that
I want them to be better than me.

In this area,
I've been better than my dad at the same age and
my sons have been better than me at the same age,
so when we get grandchildren, they'll be perfect!!!!
Or…maybe not!

Again, how we model self-control has
a bigger impact on our kids than what we tell them.

Whether it be driving, or sports, or working on a car,
we can get pretty angry sometimes.
How we handle ourselves and
what we do to get rid of the emotion
will impact our kids a lot more than we know.

One of the things that has helped me is that
the older I get,
the more I see things in the light of eternity.

For instance, there was a time that
if UK lost a basketball game,
the sun was not going to rise the next day.

But as I began seeing people through Jesus' eyes,
with the pain and hurts of this world and
needing Him more than anything else,
in comparison,
a basketball game just isn't that important.
But the injustice of bad calls still gets me riled!!

Fathers, you might find it encouraging to know that
the Bible does teach that
anger is NOT a sin as long as
it is over the right thing and
it is handled in a self-controlled manner and
your anger passes quickly.

Jesus modeled that for us.

On two different occasions He cleansed the temple.
He physically drove merchants out of the temple.

There was a multimillion dollar business that
was taking place and He was upset over two things:
1) They were overcharging the people for their sacrifices,
2) They were making a mockery of the Temple.
They had turned a place of worship into a den of thieves.

That is why Paul says in Ephesians 4:26,
"In your anger do not sin…"

So, make certain that if you do get angry
it is for the right reason and that
you are self-controlled.

Solomon said in Proverbs 29:11, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control."

Proverbs 17:27, "A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered."
Another area where we have fatherly advice
given to children in the book of Proverbs is in the area of 4. Integrity.

Proverbs 11:20 says, "The LORD detests men of perverse heart but he delights in those whose ways are blameless."

One of the important things that
a father can pass along to his child is
not success in sports;
it is not financial security, but
it is an understanding that character, that integrity
is what really matters.

Proverbs 12:22 says, "The LORD detests lying lips,
but he delights in men who are truthful."

So a wise father is a father
who is teaching his children that
they need to live and speak the truth.

But it is a challenge because
there are a thousand different ways that as a parent
we can compromise the truth.

A father might hear the telephone ring and
say to his wife, "Tell them that I am not here!"
The children overhear that.

Or he'll say, "Tonight we're going to
do something really special as a family."
He comes home and somehow he is tired; or
he gets watching television or
starts paying the bills and
it kind of goes by the wayside.

Or maybe it is that little white lie on your income taxes.

Proverbs 20:7, "The righteous man leads a blameless life;  blessed are his children after him."
That has been paraphrased, "Good people who live honest lives will be a blessing to their children."

Parents, our children are watching us.
They are watching you even if you don't think they are.
They are going to remember
even if you don't think they will.

They want to see if your life is
matching up with your words and your beliefs.

So they notice if you watch a crass R-rated movie, and they notice when you skip church because
you wanted to do something else or
there was something on TV.

They overhear you when you criticize leaders,
when you tell at a dirty joke,
when you shortchange the clerk,
when you flirt with the neighbor,
when you gossip about a coworker.

They hear those things.
You can fool a lot of people but
you cannot fool your own children.

The Bible says in Proverbs 11:5 that "The righteousness of the blameless makes a straight way for them, but the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness."

Or we might say today, "moral character (integrity) makes for smooth traveling but an evil life is a hard life."

Another area Solomon gives a lot of advice on is
5. Lust.

There basically are 3 chapters that are dedicated to it.

Lust is the battlefront for a lot of men.

Someone said that 95% of men struggle with lust;
the other 5% struggle with lying.
That might be true.

For some reason God created men in such a way that
we are visually stimulated.
That is why Proverbs is filled with warnings for men
to seek wisdom rather than women.

I am so glad that when I was growing up
the opportunities that generate lust
simply were not there.

Fathers, put the blocks on your TV.
Put the filters on your computer.

And the most difficult might be to
talk to your kids about this area if you need to.

But again, modeling it does most of your teaching.

You have to show what is inappropriate by your responses and that will go a long way
in teaching them how to respond.

Fathers put up some hedges around yourself and
show your kids how it is done.

Stay away from the pornography.
Watch your interaction with people of the opposite sex and the time you spend with them and
the conversations that you have.
Put up some hedges of protection.

Proverbs 5:3-8, 21
"3 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil;
4 but in the end she is bitter as gall,
sharp as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
her steps lead straight to the grave.
6 She gives no thought to the way of life;
her paths are crooked, but she knows it not.
7 Now then, my sons, listen to me;
do not turn aside from what I say.
8 Keep to a path far from her,
do not go near the door of her house."
"21 For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD,
and he examines all his paths."

Solomon, as a father, warns strongly about
the danger of getting into lust and sexual temptation.

Now, I want you to notice this because
this was not an area of success for Solomon.
This was an area of personal failure for him.

He had 1,000 women in his life between
marriages and concubines, which were 2nd class wives.
And they led him down the wrong path.

Yet Solomon is not afraid to give wisdom
in an area where he struggled.

Sometimes fathers say, "I did so poorly in that area
I am not going to talk to my kids about it."

But instead, they need to humble themselves and
say to their kids,
"Don't make the same mistake I made.
I see you going down this path.
Listen. I have been there.
I know where it leads.
Don't follow me down that path.
Don't do what I did."

As a father, even if you have failed in some of these areas, it is still your responsibility to
teach your children this wisdom…
especially, in some of the ways you've come up short.

Solomon doesn't avoid this counsel
because it seems like a private matter or
 it can be awkward.
Instead he talks to his children clearly about it.

A final topic we want to point out in Proverbs is
6. Faith.

This is a major theme.
It will be phrased, "the fear of the Lord."

Proverbs uses that phrase more than 20 times.

It is used for the first time in Chapter 1, Verse 7. It says,
"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge…."

In other words, everything begins with fearing the Lord.
It is the foundation of wisdom.
It is what is most essential for a parent
to pass along to a child.
It is ultimately the only accomplishment that
truly matters as a father.

Do your children respect,
[which is what that word, "fear" means]
do they respect the Lord?

Proverbs 16:20 says,
"…blessed is he who trusts in the LORD."

Proverbs 3:5-6 says,
"5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight."

So Solomon says, "Trust God in all of your decisions."

Set the example Dads,
with healthy habits like reading God's Word
on a regular basis,
of surrounding yourself with some men
who are good Christian friends and
a good influence on you,
praying regularly with the family.

Those healthy habits are the fertile soil for faith to grow and for the faith to get passed along to the next generation.

Phil Callaway writes about
passing his faith onto the next generation.
He says, "May 31st, 1986, was a Saturday. My friends played softball that day. I paced a hospital hallway with my wife. At least," he writes, "I think it was my wife. Where she has always been rather sweet and soft-spoken, this woman was more like Attila the Hun in a hospital gown. 'Rub my back!' she commanded. 'Don't touch me!' she hollered. This continued what seemed like fourteen days until I found myself face-to-face with my firstborn son. Sure, he was a little wrinkly, but who could blame him? I held him close. I touched his tiny fingers. I counted his toes. I looked into his eyes. They were blue like mine. Then," he says, "the most amazing thing happened. A revival, I suppose. As I looked into the blue of those blue eyes it was as if I heard these words: 'Calloway, for the first 25 years of your life you have been a hypocrite. You've been close to the church but far from God. You are holding in your arms the one person you'll never be able to hide it from. If you think this little guy won't see it, you are naïve.'" Calloway says, "People ask me when I became a Christian and I say, 'May 31st, 1986.' You see, that night, for the first time in my life, I bowed my head and I said, 'Dear God, I am sorry. Make me real. Make me genuine. I want my precious little boy to hunger and thirst after righteousness, and if he won't learn it from me, he has two strikes against him already.' I meant every word," he says. "It has been slow going sometimes but I believe God heard that prayer. Five years later, that same little boy looked up at me one night and said, 'Daddy, I want to be like you,' and tears came to my eyes. I don't have

all the childrearing answers for you, but I do know this. If you want your child to love God, you love God first.

Proverbs 9:10,
"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,
and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."

Our culture says, "My dad doesn't know anything."

But can I tell you something?
If he is a good steward of
what the Lord has entrusted to him,
if his words are positive,
if he is a man of self-control, integrity, and purity; and
if, above all, he is a father whose faith is real,
then please realize as a family
you are blessed and he is blessed.

So whether you are a father or not,
whether you are a male or a female,
young or old,
single or married
maybe you need to give your life to Jesus Christ today.

You see, there is something that is more important than
sports and cars,
hunting and fishing,
Star Wars and Star Trek, and even
duck tape and WD-40.

All these things will pass away.

The only thing that will survive this world
is the souls of men and women.

If you are ready to make Jesus both Lord and Savior of your life, guaranteeing Heaven for eternity,
in faith, come forward and give your life to Jesus in baptism.

Or maybe you've already done that and
would like to place your membership with us.
Then come forward as we stand and sing.

Based on a 6/15/08 sermon at Southeast Christian Church Louisville, Ky.