Harvest Pointe Christian Church, Milford Ohio is a non-denominational Christian Church (Church of Christ) on the Eastside of Cincinnati OH

Every Teenager is Rebellious | Series: Spiritual Mythbusters| 06-14-09

Every Teenager is Rebellious
Series: Spiritual Mythbusters
Galatians 6:7

  I. Do not be deceived.  Be discerning.

 II. God cannot be mocked.  Be respectful.

III. A man reaps what he sows.  Be holy.

Full Text 

Mark Twain once said, "When your child turns 13, stick him in a barrel, place a lid on top, and feed him through the knothole.  When he turns 16, seal up the knothole."

What is it about teenagers? 
Why do they get such a bum rap? 

Are they bent on rebellion or just in need of direction? 

Is there some switch that is flipped when
a boy or girl turns 13? 

Is it true that every teenager is rebellious? 
Or is that simply a myth that people say? 

Statistics would definitely not back it up. 
Here at Harvest Pointe we have
a bunch of Teens going on a mission trip to Haiti.

While most don't rebel, plenty of teens do. 

We all have sinned, and so
in that sense we are all rebellious. 

But when we think of the term, "rebellious" or "rebellion,"
it means a refusal to repent. 

When a teen (or an adult for that matter) is rebellious
they are not willing to change.

The Bible calls it a hardened heart or a seared conscience. 
It's a lifestyle they've chosen.

We are not talking about doing something dumb or
having a bad attitude.

We are all tempted and fall.

But when they say, "I'll do it my way,
not my parent's way, not God's way,
I refuse to change!", that's when they rebel.

Even King David said in Psalms 25:7: "Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD."

Early on, it's important to point out that
a teen getting older may be taking steps
toward independence. 
That should not be confused with rebellion. 

One is a natural progression,
while the other is in direct opposition to your authority.

The day they were born,
your children began moving toward independence.
That is natural and normal and the way God set it up. 

Especially during the teen years
they need the help of parents to
protect them from the outside influences and
to prepare them for adulthood. 

During these transitional years,
teens and their parents make decisions that
can affect the rest of their lives. 

There is an important, consistent message
to both teens and their parents in Galatians 6:7. 

If you can set the example found in this passage,
then you both can impact the world for Christ. 
Galatians 6:7 says, "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows."

By the time this message is over,
I hope everyone here,
both teenager and adult,
will have this verse memorized. 

But more importantly,
I pray that you will live by these words.

Whether you are a teen, parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or someone who just runs into a teen along the way,
it should be easy to make some applications.

Here's the first point.
I. Do not be deceived.  Be discerning.

The world lies to all of us. 
It tells parents that every teen will rebel so expect it and
don't get bent out of shape over it. 

Society tells teens that there's something wrong with you
if you don't rebel. 
"These are the best years of your life,
so live it to the extreme with no limits. 
Use the internet as a playground, party hard,
experiment with drugs, sleep around. 
After all, you're invincible!" 
But do not be deceived. 

Take a walk through my mind.

Meet the college freshman who
was doing a research paper and
found a paper written by a graduate student
on the same topic.
He put his name on the paper and handed it in.

Since he was in undergraduate school,
no one would ever know.
But my roommate and I knew.

I was really disappointed in the guy.
But my non-Christian roommate was really ticked.

So he wrote a letter to him and
signed the professor's name to the letter.
The letter said the professor knew what he had done and
he needed to see him and
he would be kicked out of school.

The next day the young man headed out
to talk to the professor and
my roommate let him get to the building
before telling him what he had done and that
he hadn't been caught, but don't' do it again.

The young man didn't cheer up.
He had already mailed a letter to his parents
telling them what he had done!

It only takes once to bring grief into your life.

Or talk with the young teen who believed the lie
that one drink won't hurt you. 

But he eventually learned the truth that
1 out of 7 people who take the first drink
becomes an alcoholic.
He never intended to, but who would have thought that
one drink at a friend's house
could have such far reaching implications?

Come with me to a hospital psych ward.
See a big, tall, good-looking redhead.
This young man was an honor student.
He was all state in both basketball and baseball.
He was ranked as one of the
top high school basketball players in the nation.

But he went to a party and fried his brain on drugs.
He now just stares straight ahead.
If you push on his elbow, he will walk.
If you push down on his shoulder, he will sit.
If you touch his lower lip with a spoon,
he will open his mouth.
If you put food in his mouth he will chew in swallow.
But he will not look at you and
he will not make a sound.
Just once is all it took.

Just last week someone told me about a young lady that
on her only date with a guy became pregnant.
13 years later, she has not been out on a date since.
She is focusing on raising her child.
Just one time.

Come with me to a jail.
Meet a young teen who got with the wrong crowd.
He snatched a woman's purse.
Just one time.

Every teen should note that
it's never just one time and it's over.

Cheat once , and it's easier to do again until
you are caught for real.
One drink leads to another.
The one night stand effects the rest of your life.
That one time to take drugs can ruin
your awesome future.
Even stealing once and
you can have a record that will follow you forever.

It's never just one drink, one joint, one line, one night…
so don't start. 
Someone said, "Choices are the hinges of destiny."

Teenagers, "Do not be deceived.  Be discerning."
Make wise decisions. 

Realize there is a devil who has
deceived many people and who
would love to deceive you. 
We don't want to see you fall for the deception. 

You are special.
That's why Tish and JP give their time to you.
That's why we are working on
getting another youth minister.
That's why we support you in things like CIY and Haiti.

We love you, we believe in you, and Jesus needs you! 
So, we come alongside.

And parents, don't buy into the lie that
every teen is going to be rebellious. 

If you have such low expectations for your kids,
your apathy will excuse rebellion and
in a subtle way encourage it. 
Set your expectations for your teens high. 

Do not be deceived and think that
bad behavior is acceptable.

Pray.
Use God's word as your guidebook.
Listen to the advice of godly people.

The Bible says in I Corinthians 15:33, "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character.'"

Parents, get involved with your teens.
Know who their friends are.

You have the authority to limit and influence
who they spend their time with.

It comes back to early on raising your kids
to have a Biblical worldview-
to make each decision and choice
under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. 

Parents, when it comes to
teaching Spiritual truths to your kids,
don't pass this responsibility on to
godly grandparents or
the youth workers here at church. 

Make forming these foundational truths
a part of your everyday life. 


Yes, we want to help in the process of
teaching your child a Christian worldview but
ultimately this is the greatest responsibility
we have as parents. 

Don't hand that off to someone else. 
It's too important and you play too big of a role. 

Paul tells us in II Corinthians 10:5, "…we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Parents, you need to be aware of
the music your teens are listening to and
the programs they are watching. 

You should have permission to see
who they are chatting with online and
what they are saying. 

Take a look at Face Book and You Tube.

You need access to their Twitters!

You are their parent and
you are responsible for placing boundaries
which protect them and
help them mature spiritually and socially. 
God doesn't want you to be deceived.

Colossians 2:8 says, "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ."

Of course, the most important thing that a parent can do
is to pray.
Take your challenges with your kids before the Lord and ask Him to work on their heart and your heart as well. 

With God's help you can raise kids who
don't believe the lie. 
And teens, it's entirely possible for you to be discerning. 

Do not be deceived.  Be discerning.

Galatians 6:7 says, "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows."

Which brings us to our next point.
"Do not be deceived," but he doesn't stop there.  He goes on to say,

II. God cannot be mocked.  Be respectful.

That word, "mock", means literally to wrinkle up the nose,
to scorn or sneer.

Our culture continues to grow more and more irreverent when it comes to God and
anything associated with Christianity. 

We see it constantly in the media.
Whether it be movies, TV, or even the news.
It shows in the laws some politicians would like to pass.
It even shows in the way people talk about God.

This last presidential race was shocking.
Did you ever dream
preachers would gain so much focus?

One that was not only the focus of the news, but also
You-Tube and the whole internet system,
actually used God's name as a swear word!

Where has respect for God gone?

But rest assured, God cannot be mocked. 

In other words, there is One who is
almighty and all knowing,
so don't think for a second that
anyone can get away with irreverence. 

Solomon said in Proverbs 9:10,
"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom….

Have a healthy respect for
the One who spoke the world into existence.

Parents need to set the example in this area. 
Teach them that God cannot be mocked. 

Don't be casual about the things of God. 
Don't put yourself on the throne. 
Rather, be an example for your teens. 

Demand a certain respect for God and your authority, and be observant and patient. 

As a parent you have to be able to tell the difference
between rebellion and kids just having fun, and
sometimes it's a very fine line. 

When I was a teenager our church had
a formal Valentine's Banquet for the teens.

I think they were trying to
teach us hillbillies some manners.

But they made a fatal flaw in their planning.
Part of the menu was baked potatoe.

Do you know what those silly adults
served those baked potatoes in?
Aluminum foil.  How stupid.

3 of us were very close friends, and, as friends will do,
we began 'dising' each other as they would say today.
Which meant, soon some ones' aluminum foil became
a round, hard projectile launched as someone else.
While the first projectile was still in the air,
2 more were being launched.

Before anyone could stop it,
20 or more teens were in a free for all foil battle,
with, maybe a little food tossed in for good measure.
End of "formal" dinner.

The 3 of us got a pretty good tongue lashing
by our preacher,
which we did deserve.

But in all honesty, the whole event
was not rebelling against a formal meal.
When they said, "FOOD", we were in favor of it!
It was 3 boys having fun and
being in BIG time trouble when we got home!!!

Parents, recognize the difference between
rebellion and stupidity.
Keep the consequences appropriate.

Occasionally, parents, you have to pull in the reins and
remind your teens of the expectations
you have for them. 

Teach them that their choices have consequences-
sometimes long term consequences. 
And sometimes love has to be tough.

And if you have a teen who bucks under that authority
you have leverage as a parent that
you had better use. 

It may be a curfew.
It might be phone or driving privileges
It could be tuition money for college. 

Sometimes you need to practice tough love and
get their attention by lovingly saying,
"You are heading in the wrong direction with your life
because you are not making God-honoring decisions.
Yes, you are 18 years old, but
we will not financially support you
as long as your behavior
mocks the God we raised you to love."

They need to learn that
when Galatians 6:7 says, "Do not be deceived, God
cannot be mocked,"
it means that you cannot fool God.

If you think you can, then
you are lying to yourself.

Galatians 6:7 says, "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows."

That is our 3rd lesson today.
III. A man reaps what he sows.  Be holy.

If you learn anything,
learn the concept of sowing and reaping. 

Teens, allow me to challenge you with
the same words that Paul wrote to his young protégé
in II Timothy 2:22.
"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

The Bible says that what you sow you will grow. 

If you've been stingy with God and
selfish to others,
don't expect someone to give you a scholarship or
a great price on that first car. 

Don't look for unexpected blessings to come your way when you're in a pinch
if you haven't been faithful.  ]
Remember, you will reap what you sow.

Teens, your spirit should never be:
 "Let's see how close to
the boundary of God's commands I can get,
without stepping across." 

Instead it needs to be an obedient spirit. 

I Peter 1:16 says, "…Be holy, because I am holy."
That's the Lord speaking.
 
Holiness means that you are set apart, distinctive. 

Parents, model that holiness. 
Set the example of purity for your teens. 

Author Brenda Hunter says: "If you don't teach your son to be sexually moral, he may deeply regret his past when he finally falls in love with a woman worthy of his respect.  And she may feel lonely on their wedding night when what is new for her is familiar for him.  Promiscuity ultimately wounds the person one loves the most"

The boundaries are not there to take away your fun,
but rather to increase your joy. 

Kevin Leman categorizes
the different styles of parenting this way.
Think about what your style is.
Probably a mixture.

Dictator: Rules - Relationship = Rebellion

The first style is a dictator. 

This is where, whether it's Mom or Dad,
it's all rules minus a relationship and
the result is that it leads to rebellion. 

This parent has plenty of rules to be enforced but
no real relationship with their kids. 
So it's someone barking out orders and expectations but there's no closeness.

Doughboy: Relationship - Rules = Chaos

The other extreme is the Pillsbury® doughboy. 

This is the softie. 
This is where there's a relationship
("We're really close; we do everything together.") but
there are no rules. 

Relationship minus rules equals chaos.

You become their friend but
you become their friend too early and
you are too soft.

Doctor: Relationship + Rules = Respect

The final one is the one with balance.
It's the one we're working toward. 

It's like a loving doctor. 
It is relationship plus the rules equals respect. 

It's because you have the relationship and the rules
that you can help your teen
develop respect and
be happy in life.

So when asked to do something,
the teenager shows respect.

So, parents, if you have the guts,
ask your teens which styles you usually employ.



And, teens, there are no perfect parents,
so let me challenge you to declare a truce,
to stop the debates and arguments and
to trust their intentions. 
If you do, they won't know what hit 'em! 

If you claim to be a Christian
you are to be distinctive in the way
you interact with your parents. 

That doesn't mean you will always agree with them but
it does mean that you honor and obey them.

Why?  Because rules with a relationship equal respect.

And teens, spend time with your parents. 

Don't always be looking for the next place to go or
the next thing to do. 
Your mom and dad love you more than
anyone in this world,
so get off the computer,
take your i-pod ear buds out, and
find some common ground. 
Maybe it's a show you watch together. 
Maybe it's exercising together. 
Perhaps it's a sporting event. 

And parents spend time with your teens. 
Come home from work when you are supposed to.
 And if you are home during the day,
look for ways to
spend time with your teens and
cultivate that relationship
rather than feeling like you're intruding. 

Block out trips and meals and events.
Don't give them the leftovers. 

My big regret as a minister is
getting so involved sometimes
I would forget to block out time for the family.

Some of my best time with our boys has been
tossing a ball or
eating at White Castle.

In these non-threatening situations
we would have some of our deepest discussions.

And as they got older,
there would come a time when
we would take a drive and talk man to man.

Now, some of you teens may be thinking,
"But you don't understand!
My parents aren't cool!"

Of course they're not cool.
They're parents!

But let me tell you something.
You don't really need COOL parents. 
You need parents who love the Lord and
 love you and
who are willing to invest in your spiritual life.

There will be plenty of time for friendship after you're 20, but in these teen years
they are preparing you for adulthood and,
more importantly, for eternity. 

And parents, it's possible to
do everything right as a parent and still,
because of the freedom of choice,
your teens can make unwise decisions. 

They can walk away from you and
they can walk away from the faith. 
Continue to pray.
Don't give up.
And show them both tender and tough love.

So often we tend to dwell on
the mistakes of the teen years and
the blunders that are made. 
But there are plenty of blessings and
so many bright spots for what the Lord can do
in and through them.
Actually, I have great hopes and expectations
for the next generation coming to the forefront.

There seems to be a movement toward
a more conservative stance,
to think for themselves.

Many don't want what is often called the "fluff"
of churches who's
music is more production than worship and
sermons designed to make you feel good
rather than feed you the meat of the word.

Pray that God will raise up a new generation that
will take America back for Him and
win the world as well.

Yes, we want to win the world for Christ.
But that begins with right here at home.

If there is someone here today that
has never accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior,
come forward in faith as we sing and
be baptized into Him.

Or maybe you've already done that and
you would like to make Harvest Pointe
your Church home,
come, as we stand and sing.

Based on a 2008 sermon of Dave Stone of South East Christian Church, Louisville, Kentucky