Harvest Pointe Christian Church, Milford Ohio is a non-denominational Christian Church (Church of Christ) on the Eastside of Cincinnati OH

A Reason to Love | Series: I Peter | 05-23-10

A Reason to Love
Series: Finding Your Way in a 'Whatever' World
I PETER 2:13-25

  I. A Difficult Command. 13a
     A. Submission is unnatural.
     B. Submission should be unforced.

 II. Motivations for submission. Vs. 13-15
     A. "For the Lord's sake."
     B. It enhances our testimony.

III. Practical Applications.
     A. The government. Vs. 13-17

The Purpose of the Government
          1. Punish those who do wrong and
          2. Commend those who do right.

As a Christian Citizen Remember
          1. The limited influence of government. Ephesians 3:10, II Corinthians 10:3-4
          2. That you stand in the shadow of the cross. Vs. 16-17

Two Misguided Approaches to the Government.
          1. Christians lash out.
          2. Christians cave in.  Acts 5:29
     B. The workplace.  Vs. 18-20

IV. A Powerful Example of Submission:  Jesus.  Vs. 21-23

Full Text 

On May 8 in the year 2000, a virus spread throughout the world.  It wasn't a physical sickness.  It was an Internet virus.  When e-mail documents were opened it instantly affected every single address in your email account.  It traveled from Asia to Europe to America in a span of 4 hours.  It even shut down Parliament, and in America many major corporations were virtually shut down for the day.  Why would thousands of people open up an email from an address they didn't recognize?  Simple.  The email had as its subject line "Love Letter" and no one can resist opening a love letter.  So the love letter virus spread across the globe like wildfire because everyone wants to be loved.
Jesus said that the subject line of every Christians' life ought to be "Love".  In John 13:35 He said the world would know we are His disciples by how we love one another.  Love is the very first fruit of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians 5:22.  In I Corinthians 13, Paul reminds us that If we can speak in foreign languages, can figure out things, are real smart, have all kinds of faith, and sacrificially give, but have not love, we are nothing. 
When Peter wrote this section of his letter, I Peter 3:1-12, he was challenging us to be people who are marked by love in three different areas.  Let's read our text.  I Peter 3:1-12…
I. What should love look like in marriage?

Peter will answer that question for the wives first and then a little later for the husbands.  And ladies, before we look at these verses, you may have already noticed that Peter talks about the wives for six verses and the husbands for only one verse.  Before you say, "That's not fair," let me make an observation for you. 
William Barclay reminds us that back in this culture, the wife's position was far more difficult than that of the husband.  If a husband became a Christian, he would automatically bring his wife with him into the Church and there would be no problem.  But if a wife became a Christian while her husband did not, she was taking a step which was unprecedented and it would produce some incredible tension.  In the ancient world, women had no rights at all.  Her husband owned her.  For a wife to change her religion while her husband did not was unthinkable.
Even though there is only one verse that is written to the husbands, it is important for us to recognize that it was revolutionary that Peter would even give one verse to the men in that culture.
Paul was really radical.  In Ephesians 5 he gave three verses to the women and nine verses to the men!  So, to balance it out, we'll touch on Ephesians 5 later.
You see, in the New Testament, employers and parents and husbands are all addressed, because the Gospel has implications for their conduct as well.  Other moralists and philosophers of the day would teach about proper family conduct, but they only addressed the inferior members as they saw it;  the wives, children, and slaves.  They didn't talk to the husbands.  In the Greek civilization the duty of the woman was, and I quote, 'to remain indoors and to be obedient to her husband.' 
We'll spend the majority of our time on this first point because without a full explanation it will raise more questions than answer them.
Let's begin with
A. The wives.

Look at the first two verses of our text.  I Peter 3:1-2 says, "1Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.  This is one of those passages that people like to conveniently skip over in the Bible.  We miss out on a lot of rich teaching that God is trying to convey.
Last week we talked about submitting to the government and to employers.  Here Peter continues the theme of submission, but now he focuses on wives being submissive to their husbands.  Now, in this setting Peter is talking more about when a wife is a Christian and the husband is not.  He tells us that the most effective method for a wife to win her husband to the Lord is the life that she leads.  Let's try to understand the kind of life he is describing.
Let's begin by saying what submission does not mean.  It is not a sign of inferiority or weakness.  It is not keeping all of your opinions to yourself and being the silent partner.  What it does mean is that, after explaining your position, reasoning with your husband, and trying to get him to see things from your perspective, you ultimately yield to his leadership.
Now, on the flip side, Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."  Paul, like Peter, talks about submission.  And like Peter he begins with the wives.  Verse 22.  "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."  After only two more verses Paul turns to the husbands.  Ephesians 5:25.  "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."  And for the next eight verses he continues that theme.
If a man loves a woman enough to die for her, he loves her enough that he WANTS to please HER.  He wants to SERVE her.  She is not a slave.  She is precious to him.  He values her desires and opinions.  The Bible is full of balances.
A young man contemplating marriage asked his grandfather how it was that he and Grandma had stayed married for 50 years. The wise man said, "Early in our marriage we decided that, if it were a little or small decision, she would make it.  But if it was a big decision, I would make it.  And in 50 years of marriage there have never been any big decisions!"
But, it is impossible for us to realize what life must have been like back in the Greek civilization for the wife who was brave enough to become a Christian.  What then, is Peter's advice in such a case?  He doesn't suggest leaving your husband or deserting him.  Instead he encourages her to submit to him.  It is submission, not from fear, but out of love.
Of course, as we saw last week, the Bible teaches that if a husband asks a wife to do something that is a sin or is unethical or immoral, she is not to submit to his request.  You don't have to subject yourself to physical, mental, psychological or sexual abuse and it doesn't mean you can't express your feelings within a marriage.  But hopefully it would not be that extreme.
If you have an unbelieving husband, you have to do things that, through your leading of a quiet life, can somehow grasp his heart.  Don't belittle or berate him.  This is hard for you women to understand, but men want respect more than they want love.  He may do some things that negatively effect the family.  But remember that nagging and belittling will only turn him away.
Donald Sunukjian, is the Professor of Preaching at Talbot School of Theology.  Listen to his practical observations. 
"When a man and woman come to marriage, each have expectations deep within. A man expects to be the leader in his marriage. That's strange because he doesn't have that thought in most other areas. Unless he is president of his company, a man doesn't go to work and say, "I'm supposed to direct this company." He doesn't look at the government and say, "I'm supposed to be in charge of the country."   But when a man marries, something deep within says, "I'm supposed to lead this marriage." God has put that thought inside him; it is part of his maleness.
At the same time when a woman marries, she expects that this man will be her protector. She wants him to be her "knight in shining armor". When children come along, and she and they are vulnerable to the world, she wants him to stand guard. She wants to count on him to keep the family safe. These thoughts are part of her femininity, created by God.
Because the husband is imperfect, instead of caring for the best interests of his family, he may think only of himself.
And because a woman is afraid of the consequences to the family when she sees this happening, she may try to force the man to act as he should.
But by trying to force him into the right behavior, she adopts a morally superior position. In essence, she stands over him with a scolding finger and says, "I will tell you what to do; I know better than you do."
In his eyes, she is acting as his mom and not his wife. Therefore in the early stages, a man will resist her attempts to compel his behavior. "Don't tell me what to do," he will shout. Though he is doing a bad job of being a leader, he will still do everything he can to hang on to that role.
If a wife continues to buck his authority, eventually a man will kick into a second response. He will shut down and become passive.
He will retreat to his hobbies or the television. He will pour his life into his career. His attitude will be, "I don't want to argue any more. I want peace. You can do whatever you want. And so when he is home, he will crawl into a shell, and not only give up his authority as the leader of his house but also give up his self-esteem.
And the wife will have lost her knight in shining armor. Instead of winning him, she drove him away."
Women, you can suggest or nudge, but don't push and nag.  Respect and love him.  And give him a lot of time.
And I also have to mention that, since we are talking about humans that we can't control, it will not always work.  Some will never come to Christ.  We just have to do what we can.
Chuck Swindoll suggests that this passage has Four Key Words.

1. Action

Verse 1 says that wives should win their husbands over by their behavior.  That's not just talking about a form of submission.  It's talking about their overall life:  prayer, love, and encouragement.
The Second key word is:
2. Adornment

Watch your adornment.  It's okay to look your best but keep your priorities in check.  I Peter 3:3-4 says, "3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment … 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."  So as much as you are working on the outside, make sure you are equally working on the inside.
The third word is:
3. Attitude

Peter says, "A gentle and quiet spirit."  And then Peter reminds us of a Biblical example, Sarah, the wife of Abraham.  I Peter 3:5-6 says, "5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
Which brings us to our fourth word:
4. Attention

Sarah gave Abraham her attention and energy and she followed her husband as he was being lead by God.  On two different occasions, Abraham put Sarah in a dangerous circumstance.  But God acted both times to save her from the consequences of his poor leadership as the head of the house.  Sara went wherever Abraham went, because she was convinced that he was following the leading of the Lord. That is submissive love.
Now, in Verse 7 Peter turns his attention to
B. The Husbands.

Men, it's a short verse but it covers a lot of territory. Verse 7 says, "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."  Remember, this instruction for a husband to treat his wife like this was radically countercultural.
First notice that he said,
1. Be Considerate

Literally translated it means to "live in knowledge of your wife".  You should be involved with, take an interest in, and become a student of, your wife.  What are the hopes and dreams of your wife?  Think back to when you were dating.  You could talk on the phone for hours upon hours and if it was in more recent years you were on the Internet and instant messaging each other, texting, and tweeting.  You had a hunger to find out things about the other person.
Not long after Marsha and I were married, we saw some yellow roses.  Marsha commented on how pretty they were and that they were her grandmother's favorite.  I thought she was letting me know that they were her favorites because women don't always say things plainly and us men have a hard time understanding subtleties.  So, for years I made the effort to get her yellow roses.  Back then they weren't as easy to find. 
One year the cheap places didn't have any.  So I settled for red roses.  As I apologetically gave them to her, she sheepishly smiled and told me yellow roses were her grandmother's favorite.  Red roses were hers!  I think she enjoyed me making an extra effort for her all those years!  So men.  Be better listeners of your wives than I am.
But the point is, when the wedding ring gets on the finger, somehow we often don't pursue those relationships like we should.  Men, get involved with your wives.  Find out where her heart is.  Now, I know that understanding a woman is like nailing Jell-O to a wall!  But if you put out the effort, it will pay huge dividends for you.
The second thing Peter tells us to do is
2. Be Respectful

Peter says to "treat them with respect as the weaker partner."  The word "weaker" conveys 2 thoughts.  Your wife is precious and delicate.  She's not that 64oz mug that you get at a gas station!  She is the gold edged crystal that is very valuable.  Handle your wife with care and loving respect.  
Weakness is not inferiority.  Husbands, never use your size, strength or voice as a weapon against your wife.  That type of behavior has no place in the life of a Christian man.
Peter goes on and says,
3. Be Spiritual

You are to lead your wife.  Let her voice be heard.  Let her know you value her opinion.  Jesus elevated womanhood, and when you understand the culture and the times, you realize that so did Paul and so did Peter.  They talk about being heirs together.  Verse 7 says, "As heirs with you of the gracious gift of life."
Understand that in ancient cultures, women were considered second class people.  For instance, there was a common Jewish Rabbinic prayer that men would pray.  "Lord, I thank you that you did not make me a slave, a Gentile or a woman."
It is in that setting that Peter writes these radical words as he elevates womanhood.  He tells the guys to treat their wives with respect, as heirs of Heaven, TOGETHER!  Back then that was unheard of.  What was taking place was something revolutionary.  Here, in Christianity, emerged this principle that women had equal spiritual rights and with that the relationship between the sexes was forever changed.
That's why in Galatians 3:26-28, Paul writes; "26You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."  So husbands take the lead.  Bring the family to Church with you.  Join a small group with her.  You are heirs together.
Ok.  Let's quickly look at two other areas.
  . What does love look like in the Church?

In Verse 8 Peter says, "Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble."
The first thing that he talks about is a
A. Unified Love

Peter says to "live in harmony with one another."  If a Church is to impact the world, she must be united.  Her people must live in harmony with each other and build each other up.
Secondly we need a
B. Sympathetic Love

When Peter says, "Be sympathetic", it literally means, "to feel with".  It's not that you feel bad for them.  Rather, you feel with them.  You feel what they feel.  When they are hurting, you hurt, too.
C. Compassionate Love

Peter says, "be compassionate."
Compassion is what causes people to reach out and help the hurting.  Compassion is why people would go to Haiti and sweat and get tired to help someone else have a home to live in.
The fourth type is a
D. Humble Love

Peter simply says, "be…humble."  The Church should be the model of humility in the way we relate and interact with others.  Our focus is on others and on Christ.
One final area in this passage.
II. What should love look like to the world?

I Peter 3:9 says, "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."  Jesus said, "Love your enemies".  (Luke 6:27)  Romans 12:17-19 tells us, "17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. ... 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge…"
So first of all, we are to
A. Refuse to retaliate

That's tough for us.  Stephen, the first Christian martyr, was being stoned to death and yet, he prayed for the people who were throwing rocks at him.  How do we respond when someone is out to get us?
Next we are told to
B. Seek to serve others

I Peter 3:10-12 says, "10For, 'Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.  11He must turn from evil and do good;  he must seek peace and pursue it.  12For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.'"  This is a quote from Psalm 34:12-16.  Instead of retaliating, Peter says to do good.
Listen to what Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount.  Matthew 5:43-48.  "43You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
Even the worst of people love those that love them.  We are to be countercultural.  We are to be radically different.  We are even to do good to those who hate us!
Again this revolutionary thought is found in Romans 12:19-21.  "19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
If your enemy is hungry, feed him;  if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.  In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
Can you do something nice for some one who is out to get you?  Listen to this true story.
"Halvorsen was a pilot in Europe during and after World War II. In post-war Germany, he was on the ground in Berlin. Some of the many hungry children in the once-prosperous Germany that Adolf Hitler had reduced to penury flocked around him and his buddies to ask for food. They were hungry. They were begging for a scrap or bread or a handout from the soldiers' rations.
Halvorsen didn't have any food for the group of about 30 kids. He had two sticks of gum in his pocket. He handed them to a couple of the children - and had a bright idea. The next time he dropped food into the Soviet-blockaded area of Berlin, he dropped gum and candy out for the children as well. When word got back to his superiors of what he and now other pilots were doing, there was a chewing out for their "unauthorized activities." But one general defended what the pilots were doing. He encouraged them to keep it up. And soon American candy companies were providing chocolate bars and chewing gum by the tons.
As Halvorsen puts it, "It wasn't the chocolate. It was hope!" Little children and their beleaguered parents were encouraged to believe that things would someday be better for them. Historians of the period have credited the candy drops for helping change the attitudes of the German people toward their recent enemies in war. The same non-government program is also credited with altering American attitudes toward the German people."
When you show love to your enemies, not always, but often, attitudes change for both parties. 
Once we were God's enemies. We fought against Him.  But in the ultimate act of love, He sent His Son, Jesus, to sacrifice Himself for our sins.  Now we all have the opportunity to become the friends of God.
If you are ready to become a friend of God, come forward when we stand and sing and we'll help you accept His awesome grace as you confess your belief in Jesus and are baptized into Him.  Or maybe you've already done that and are ready to place your membership with us.  If so, come, as we stand and sing.
Based on a 09/12/2004 sermon by Dave Stone of South East Christian Church, Louisville, Kentucky.